


The Hell Inside Your Head

by sammysouffle (talesandthings)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: s14e10 Nihilism, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 10:19:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17465663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesandthings/pseuds/sammysouffle
Summary: Dean's shutting him out again but Sam's having none of it.





	The Hell Inside Your Head

The first night he doesn’t let Sam in. Neither the second night. Or the third. Sam’s nothing if not stubborn and he sits outside Dean’s door, listening to the heavy thuds of his brother’s boots hitting the floor as he paces back and forth. Sometimes groaning and moaning in pain. Other times talking to himself, begging for the banging to stop. All while Sam sits helplessly out here.

The fourth night, Dean lets him in. “Make it stop, Sammy,” he says. His voice both angry yet pleading at the same time. He’s pulling at his hair so hard, Sam’s almost scared he’ll rip them out

“Dean. Stop,” Sam says gently as he gets down on the floor in front of his brother and pries his hands out of his hair.

Dean’s head snaps up, his bloodshot eyes bore holes into Sam. “Make it stop, Sammy.  _Please.”_ The anger is gone from his voice replaced with desperation.

Sam swallows back his own emotions and cups Dean’s face between his hands. “Do you feel this? My cold bruised up hands? Focus on this. Focus on my voice. Let everything else drown out,” he says, keeping his voice barely above a whisper.

Dean’s eyebrows furrow but he doesn’t protest and instead nods slowly.

Sam’s lips twitch slightly and he takes that as encouragement to go on. “When I had hallucinations… about Lucifer, being close to you and listening to you talk helped me ignore him.”

“But this is different…”

“I know. But before things got  _bad_ , Lucifer would kick and scream and sometimes even play cymbals right next to my ear to get my attention. But I didn’t give him anything and instead focused on what was there right in front of me.” He offers Dean a sad smile pokes him in the chest with his index finger. “You.”

“You never told me that,” Dean says, starting to sound like himself again.

“And that’s where I was wrong, Dean. That’s where we’re both wrong. Whenever something like this happens, we both recoil and try to deal with it on our own but we’ve seen time and again that that doesn’t work. Times like these we need each other more than anything. So stop closing me out and let me help you. There’s no one else out there who can understand what you’re going through right now better than me. We will find a way to beat Michael for good. But for now, you just gotta ignore him.”

Dean doesn’t say anything. Instead, he wraps his arms around Sam’s shoulders and pulls him in for a tight hug. Sam almost feels like his life is being squeezed out of him but he hugs his brother back anyway. 

And if he finds the sudden wave of affection from Dean a bit odd, he doesn’t say anything.


End file.
